No more backward-looking action movies for Sylvester Stallone! No, the Rambo star is keen to prove he's still got what it takes … playing a gun-toting, axe-wielding assassin
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Until now, Sylvester Stallone's comeback has been unshakably rooted in nostalgia; either for himself (the Rocky and Rambo sequels) or for a lost age of knuckleheaded action films (both instalments of The Expendables). But now, finally, Stallone has chosen to stand on his own two feet again.
His next film will be Bullet to the Head. It's not a remake or a sequel – although it is based on French graphic novel Du Plombe Dans la Tête – and Stallone is incontestably its star. Will audiences still flock to Bullet to the Head, or were they only into Stallone's professional resurrection to relive the good old days? Can he even shoulder the weight of a movie like this any more? An international trailer for Bullet to the Head has just been released. Let's see what it's all about.
In Bullet to the Head, Sylvester Stallone plays an assassin. He's one of the good ones, though – he never kills women or children. Hopefully this is a set-up indicating that the baddie in this film will be a tooled-up three-year-old girl, but it's more likely that his character is just making the most basic possible justification for being a professional murderer.
Just to prove his credentials as a hitman, here's Stallone half-naked, beating up a guy in what appears to be a gym changing room. Good thing he wasn't in the female or children's changing room, because then he'd be powerless against their attacks. Unless he's still allowed to punch women and children in the face so long as he doesn't actually kill them, that is. This assassin lark is a minefield of complexities.
However, some heavies have kidnapped his daughter. They have far fewer scruples than Stallone, so they'll probably kill her. At this point, you're probably seeing a huge similarity between Bullet to the Head and Taken. You probably also remember that in Taken, Liam Neeson responded to the abduction of his daughter by calmly intoning one of the great quotes of modern cinema. But don't worry, Stallone has his own response ready. It's just as eloquent as Neeson's. Ready? It's …
"HUUUARGH!" See? That's just as good. In a way.
But still, now the game is on. To retrieve his daughter, Stallone must first shoot Christian Slater in the head with a shotgun and then pull this face – whatever the hell it's supposed to be.
Then he must strip down to his pants again and perform a vigorous workout to his copy of Davina's Super Body Workout DVD. Because it doesn't hurt to keep in shape, does it?
And then it all boils down to this. Stallone realises that his daughter was kidnapped by Conan the Barbarian, and agrees to meet him in whichever abandoned warehouse has the most theatrical spotlights, for an axe fight.
The axe battle rages on, with both opponents perfectly matched. Their endurance is tested to ever further extremes as their muscles scream out in agony. Only one can win. This, truly, will be a fight scene for the ages. We lucky viewers are surely in for climax after climax after …
Oh, no, wait, they've cut away to show a deleted scene from Eyes Wide Shut. Never mind.
Finally, Stallone gets rid of the axe and just shoots Conan the Barbarian instead. But not before he takes his top off for the millionth time, just for the hell of it. That Davina DVD has done wonders for him, look.
Source: http://www.guardian.co.uk/film/filmblog/2012/oct/04/bullet-to-the-head-trailer-review
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